Shameless Self-Promotion

Thanks to an idea from my mother-in-law, I've added another CafePress Store with items themed around kids inadvertently seeing inappropriate words around them.

Buying from this store helps support The Bayer Family.

Shameless Self-Promotion

Wow.

A couple of remodeling projects have been kicking my butt lately, sorry for the lack of updates. It's beginning to settle down a bit around here. There is still a LOT to do, but the big push is done for now.

I've been thinking about this internet addiction thing quite a bit while working, though. I just don't think there is any way or reason to sugar coat it - whether it is officially recognized or named at this point, it's a real thing. Just like any tool or good thing, it's easy to abuse.

I really do think it's a bit different than the kind of addiction that we've grown up knowing about. If someone is addicted to drugs or alcohol, the commonly accepted solution is to stop, and never start down that path again. You can not have another drop of alcohol again, ever.

That's not really practical in this case, though. Sure, you can unplug from the internet completely, but I've never been a fan of throwing the baby out with the bath water. A better solution in my eyes here is a strong self discipline. I've taken to deciding what I want to do before I sit down, and making note of what needs to be done around the house. I make sure both of those things get done. If I just want some random playtime, I'll play for a short bit, then get up and do things around the house in between game tasks. (Since logging on this morning, I've done a couple loads of laundry, served breakfast, done some things with the kids, and cleaned the kitchen.) There are also a million tools out there, free and otherwise, to give you a hand. Look into them!

Wow.

Way Off Topic

Back in April, after working with the wonderful crew at The Signal Podcast for a little over a year, I opted to resign my position as one of their audio editors. My personal and work life keep me too busy to commit the time necessary to work on regular bi-weekly podcast. I don’t regret the decision, I do miss doing the work. I enjoy audio production and would still like to do so occasionally.  I miss the fun of it from The Signal, and from way back when I worked in Radio.

 

…So here’s me, on the raggedy edge of audio editing.

 

If you run a podcast or otherwise need occasional, sporadic, or one-off audio editing (or maybe even voice work) that won’t keep me away from my family for too long, keep me in mind and shoot me a note; we’ll see what we can work out.

 

 

 

 

Way Off Topic

Lessons from Remodeling

Here are some things I've learned about remodeling rooms:

-It's a pain in the neck - literally. I've had a kink in my neck for over a week and my shoulders are sore. I fell the other day and still hurt; and I also stepped on a nail.

-Let your kiddos help knock out walls and stuff. They're also good at carrying things to the trash and bringing you things when you need them, or finding tools you've misplaced.

-You might be surprised what you find behind the walls in an old house. When we first moved in and did some work on the home, we found a giant hand-drawn R2D2 on one of the walls in the Master Bedroom. This time around, we found an old Bingo ball behind one of the walls in the closet. We also found really nice, though poorly maintained, hardwood floors under all the carpeting.

-It's a good idea to wear sunscreen while standing outside on a hot summer day painting doors and trim.

-It's a bad idea to wear your only really good pair of jeans to paint.

-Cheap face masks should have an integral place in every tool box, and are a must when sanding or installing blown-in installation.

-Paint rollers never EVER rinse clean.

-When you purchase carpet to install in two rooms at separate times, it's a good idea to get the carpet cut into two separate rolls. It's much easier to carry that way.

-Apparently, previous owners that did all the additions and remodeling before us believed in the addage "you can never use enough nails".

-They also had problems with straight lines, squared corners, and keeping everything level. (Maybe they subscribed to my remodeling ethic: "GAH! Let's just get it done! Who cares if it's perfect!"

-And for some reason, they really liked pink: Pink on the walls in the bathroom, in a closet; I actually think they used pink as a primer... And this really nasty shade of green in places inside and on the shutters outside.

-They also wired the house so that just about whatever breaker you throw, something in each room turns off.

-During remodeling, someone will inevitable curse in front of the children. Cursing during remodeling is, in itself, inevitable.


Our current project, Alexander's room, isn't finished yet. I may have more tidbits once that's finished.

Lessons from Remodeling

Too. Funny! My local PD rocks! http://ping.fm/HONOh

Glad this week is over!

While Elizabeth was off at camp this week, Rubi's parents offered to help us remodel the room she and Catherine share. We planned it as a surprise for Elizabeth. She didn't know anything about it.

I've included some pictures taken during the past week.

First off - you can see why we decided to remodel:

 

We found some sticks in our driveway and thought they might be useful.

Rubi decided to nail them to the floor.

So I locked her in a closet, but she tore her way out.

The little kids helped her escape.

And they put me to work.

But I tried to escape through the ceiling.

They found me though.

And put both me and Rubi to work.

Rubi's dad tried to get away too, but Alexander stopped him.

Rubi didn't want to help, so they punished her.

Finally! The room was finished!

At least, I think that's how the week went.

It has been a long but industrious week. Rubi and I both are sore and tired, as are her parents. And the kids are finally settling back in after having the house in a major mess for a week.


When Lizzy got home yesterday afternoon from camp, the family surprised her with a sideways video!
(I was at work though).

Our next project is Alexander's room!

Glad this week is over!

Is internet addiction even a thing?

I read a recent article on CNN.com discussing how moms are more at risk for internet addiction. It really fascinated me, and I talked about it with another gamer mommy. Her response? "Pfft, yeah, I'm definitely addicted."

[shrug] Hey, she said it first, but I'll hop on her bandwagon and say "me too." Internet outage? Grrr!! Fix it, and fix it NOW. I need to check my email, and look at the weather, and play MMOs, and talk to my friends, and read articles on CNN.com that tell me I'm on the internet too much! (Is it weird to anyone but me that an article like that is on...the internet?)

However, today I stumbled across this article saying that internet addiction technically isn't even a real thing yet, and that heavy internet use is a normal part of life these days.

I'm really wavering on this. I'm on the computer WAY too much. I make a conscious effort to limit my time, take care of my responsiblilites, and maintain my real life at a normal, healthy level. But the fact that I have to consciously make an effort to do this probably means that the addiction label applies to me. (Probably? As my friend said, "pfft".)

On the other hand, the computer is my mp3 player, TV, and newspaper all rolled into one. My main hobby, gaming, lives in the computer. Many times it is also my "phone". I had a nice chat yesterday with a real life friend via Facebook. We probably *could* have had a phone conversation, but it would have been hard. She was helping her daughter pack for a trip and I was at work. Our phone conversation would have been interrupted constantly. Facebook chat? We got to hold our conversation just as well, back and forth to the computer in between dealing with our other responsibilities.

When our conversation ended, I felt good. I'd gotten to touch base with my friend, and we spent a bit of time encouraging one another - real life is stressful for both of us this week. I felt a bit calmer and more relaxed after that, whereas a phone call would have left me a bit tense and wishing I'd had time to talk to her without constant "Hang on again. No, I said pack your GREEN shirt! Sorry, what were you saying?"

In many ways, the internet is a tool well suited to the breakneck pace most moms (and most everybody) keep these days. But too much of a good thing and all that.

How much is too much, and why do so many of us have such a hard time deciding that and calling a halt? Lots to talk about, and I'm anxious to explore this more over the next week or two. More to come...

Is internet addiction even a thing?

Oh the Pain! Currently remodeling a room. I stepped on a shiny nai this afternoonl. IT HURTS! I have to get a tetanus shot tomorrow.

This is made of AwesomeSauce: http://ping.fm/cU2fM (bad words in the comments)

Spike on 1. ZOMG nub I said spike on 1!!11! What are you, a little kid?

The other day, I read a post from a parent whose children play Guild Wars. His youngest child, eight years old, has grown bored with PvE and has begun experimenting with PvP a bit. He and his wife were discussing, and unsure if they should allow him or not. Neither of them could join him in this venture, as they did not have access to some of the areas that their son had access to.
(To clarify if you are not familiar: PvE is Player vs. Environment. You fight against the game itself, and your opponents are a computer AI. PvP is Player vs. Player. It's pretty much what it sounds like - your opponents are other players.)

I was happy to see that the discussion remained friendly and helpful, but the topic touched a nerve with me because this is a balancing act that Kev and I work to maintain every time our daughter logs into the game.

I have to say first and foremost that I've always felt that mothers are hard enough on ourselves without making it worse by being hard on each other. Tearing one another down over the way we choose to parent is *never* good. It helps no one. At the risk of sounding preachy, we need to be extending our hands to pull one another up, not to point a judgemental finger. So I try hard not to judge other mothers for their choices. (That's not to say I never fall into that trap. I do my best. Sometimes I screw it up.)

I think parenting decisions in game aren't really any different than parenting decisions anywhere else: Look at the facts of a situation, consider possible outcomes, think of how comfortable you feel with what your child will encounter, consider your child's personality (How will s/he deal with these possible scenarios?), discuss it with your child if s/he's old enough, and make the call. Of course, you should probably discuss all this with whoever else is responsible for raising the child, but I would hope that is a given.

Kev and I are fairly conservative, and if anything, we lean toward the overprotective side. We feel that we *need* to know exactly what our three children are doing on the internet. What they are seeing, who they are talking to, what they are sharing with the world. Both computers are in our family room, visible to everyone, and we know what's going on with them. In the gaming world, we are equally as conservative. Only our daughter plays at the moment, but when our son begins playing, he'll have the same rules: all chats remain off: local, guild, alliance, and trade. No voice communication software. You play set to offline so people can not whisper you. You only form groups with mom and dad, no playing with others.

As time has passed and she's grown older, we've adapted and modified some of those rules to reflect that. She is allowed to join groups sometimes, playing with people that Kev and I feel comfortable with her interacting with, as long as one of us is also in the group to keep an eye out. Our gaming friends know who she is and how old she is, and the ones we feel comfortable with have always been very respectful of that in her presence.

PvP, in my eyes, is an arena that my kids won't be entering. The gaming community can be a bit...well, you know. If one of my children enters a PvP arena of any kind, within 60 seconds she will see something that I have no desire for her to see at this point in time. Within 90 seconds, she would see something that I have no desire for her to see, and it would be aimed at her. That is just how PvP works 95% of the time, particularly random PvP.

The things that Kev and I are comfortable with, and our child's personality, do not mesh well with the possible outcomes of letting her join any kind of group of random strangers to play with. That is what works for us, and what is best for our child. But kids aren't math problems. You can't say "x element" + "y element" x "z element" will equal a happy, healthy, well adjusted child every time. The wonderful and difficult thing about kids is that each one is unique and no equation works just right for all of them. My solutions may not work for you, but it doesn't make you wrong, or a bad parent.

Find your equation, work it out, have your kid equip her weapon, and have some fun.

Spike on 1. ZOMG nub I said spike on 1!!11! What are you, a little kid?

Juggling Mom.

When my oldest daughter was in preschool, we were big fans of Mary Rice Hopkins. She writes songs for young children, but several for mommies too, and I loved them. Juggling Mom begins:

I juggle as a mom,
But life goes on and on
And I struggle when I wear so many shoes.
First wife then a mother
Then a sister to my brother
And I struggle just to juggle all I do.

I hear you, Mary. I'm a wife, a mommy, a daughter, a sister, an employee, a volunteer, a friend, and much more. I have a job to go to, a house to maintain, meals to prepare and serve, sports and activity schedules to maintain and chauffer kids to, small wardrobes to maintain...oh heck, if you've got kids you know what I mean. The list of needs that you have to meet is neverending. (At my current count, I have been interrupted 11 times while writing this to deal with requests for popsicles, asking if ten minutes is a long enough nap and can I get out of bed yet, and many other random things. Daddy is sitting six feet away, but they can't seem to see him.)

Moms need a break. We need some time just for us. It's universal. We find that in a million different ways: we read, we do crafts, we go out with our girlfriends, we play sports, we write, we watch TV, and on and on.

I game. I fell in love with it years back with Legend of the Red Dragon, fighting hordes of rabid chipmunks and flirting with Seth Able. Played my allotted time each day, and wound up attending a meet up of local players. So much fun. Down the road I discovered Sims and all the fun little expansions, and had a blast decorating my little houses and building my little families. (And yes, I drowned them in the swimming pool. Do you even have to ask?)

My drug of choice these days is Guild Wars. In February of 2007, my husband Kev thought he'd give it a shot. I got curious, asked him if I could try it out, and never looked back. My outgoing, chatty personality combined with my love of computer games made MMO gaming an irresistable new world to explore. It's so much fun for me to sit down for a while and play in a fantasy world where I can rain fire down from the heavens onto anything that annoys me.

As a bonus, I do this with other people who live in places that completely fascinate me. I played in a group with seven other people recently. There were people in the group from Austria, Germany, Belgium, the Netherlands, and Japan. They are all people that I'm friendly with, and probably the closest I'm ever going to get to visiting these countries. We play a video game together, but we also share photos, websites, and stories about our daily lives. I love people, and getting a peek into how they live is wonderful to me.

The downside of this is that fine upstanding private school mommies in their 30s are not really supposed to game. We are supposed to scrapbook, and knit, and have mommies morning out at Starbucks, but we are not supposed to play MMOs. That is reserved for pasty guys in their 40s who still live in their moms basement. Thus sayeth the stereotype.

Have I mentioned that I hate stereotypes? Moms want to play too.

Juggling Mom.