Saturday, October 29, 2005

Stupid Pre-Op jitters.

They hit me like a darned freight train tonight. I'm in an absolute panic over getting ready for Wednesday morning. I think about what I need to do, get overwhelmed, then freeze and wind up doing nothing.

I feel like if I could just get the house perfectly clean, I'd feel much better. Don't know why, but it seems that way. But it's a losing battle, what with the people living in it and all.

I've also worked myself into a frenzy over this darned open biopsy. I know that they'll be inserting a guidewire into the breast while I'm still awake so the doctor knows exactly where to work. For some reason, that terrifies me beyond anything else they're going to be doing to me. Probably because I'll be awake for the procedure. And the last time a medical professional came near that area, I was hurt so badly that I'm still sore over a week later. So now I've scared myself to death, having decided that this is going to be just as bad.

I need to pray, or have a good cry. One is what I SHOULD do, and one is the EASIER thing to do. Can you guess which is which?


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